Letters by Jane
I opened Letters by Jane as a creative outlet and a way to keep making things by hand. My husband will tell you I have an obsession with paper. I have stashes of journals, notebooks, cards, and cardstock hidden in random places all over our house. Not to mention my collection of pens and calligraphy supplies. I came to the realization a long time ago that so much of our time is spent in front of a computer that we sometimes lose that personal connection made by sending a letter in the mail or holding a pen and paper in our hands. In college, my grandfather would send me a written note each month. Even as an adult I looked forward to those special letters in the mail. I make paper goods that inspire us to reconnect and remember what that feeling of reading a handwritten note or touching a letter gives us.
Check it out!! If you have ideas for custom jobs like calling cards or escort cards for weddings, email me and we will work something out!
Gerber Baby.
I mean seriously. My kid should be a model.
Oh, the difference that 8 little weeks make…
Birth Stories Series:: Melissa & Ellie Joy
A few posts ago I talked about wanting to feature other mom’s birth stories. While I was pregnant I loved reading birth stories. I felt like it prepared me for what would be the scariest and most emotional day of my life. I would seriously cry reading them. { I still do. }
I have received some amazing stories, but this one really touched my heart. Not only because I am a hormonal mess, oh no. It’s different. It’s a home birth. And all natural. And this momma tells it well. Plus, she lives in Istanbul.
So meet the gorgeous Melissa, and her heartwarming story of how she met her baby girl, Ellie Joy.
Here is her story:
My name is Melissa and I live in Budapest with my husband, Scott, who is pursuing a PHD at Central European University. Since our arrival in summer 2010 I have kept busy teaching English to business professionals, finding beautiful running and hiking trails and exploring coffee shops all over the city. Most recently I became a mother to a darling little girl, so I’m scrambling to figure out how to handle this new job that did not come with a manual!
Read more about Melissa and her ramblings on her very own blog.
On January 23rd, my due date, I had a doctor’s appointment at 2pm. He conducted a non-stress test, did an internal exam, and sent me away with an appointment on Friday. I thought the internal exam hurt more than usual, and I was convinced that he stripped my membranes. On the way home, I was a hormonal mess. I kept thinking, “How dare he do that without telling me! How dare he mess with our daughter’s arrival.” Upon getting home I skyped with my friend Kim to calm myself down. This was around 4:30pm.
At 5pm I started making dinner, and by 5:30pm I was definitely feeling mild contractions. They felt like very mild period cramps, but they came pretty frequently- about every 5-7 minutes which I thought was unusual. I called my midwife to inform her of this just in case she needed to make arrangements for coming that night. Scott, my husband, came home soon after, we ate dinner, and then walked to the store to see if the contractions picked up and to buy some groceries in case we would be in for a long night. On our walk the contractions became much stronger, but not painful, and were every five minutes lasting for about 60 seconds. We were getting excited!
We went home to lay down in case we were in for a long night. I couldn’t sleep, so thought I’d watch the Business of Being Born to get myself geared up. When Scott got up I told him that we should go on a long walk to get things going. I didn’t want to be in labor all night. We took the bus pretty far from our house with the plan to walk home. About a quarter of the way through our walk my midwife called to check on me. When I told her I was walking she said, “No, no, no! You need to be storing your energy!” So, we decided to take the rest of the walk by bus. During our phone conversation my midwife said she would give me someone else’s number in case she couldn’t come. I immediately realized she might have another birth that night, and was determined that I couldn’t give birth without her. On the way home my contractions slowed to almost a stop. It’s amazing how psychological birth is.
I was a little depressed getting home cause the action had stopped, and I realized the baby wouldn’t be coming that night. I made Scott and I peanut butter banana smoothies and decided to watch the rest of the movie. This was about 9:30pm. By 10:00pm, I was suddenly having regular and actually painful contractions. At first I could watch the movie while I had them, but eventually I had to pause it, get up, and move around. I was leaning on our bed, the bean bag chair, and moving all over the house. One interesting thing is that after every contraction I had to go to the bathroom! That tipped me off that this was the real thing because my body was making space!
I could handle the contractions on my own for awhile, but after some time I needed Scott’s help through each one. The problem was, what I needed each time changed. Sometimes a massage helped, other times it didn’t. He was great at doing whatever I told him helped! One amazing thing about the contractions is that after they were over, they were over. There were four minutes of bliss and rest before the next one. Between contractions I emailed Scott a to-do list of what to do the next day, emailed some friends to pray, and relaxed. Scott got the birth pool ready, lit candles, put on music by Over the Rhine, and made some snacks for the midwife. To get through each contraction I would say, “relax and open up” over and over and I think it really helped! Scott and I also prayed, he quoted verses from the Bible, and he would breath rhythmically to help me to relax. (Funny thing is the breathing helped until one point when I was pushing it was annoying so I said, “That breathing is not helping!” Because, during pushing breathing is different and not as rhythmic.)
We weren’t sure when to have the midwife come. I didn’t want her to be here for 18 hours and thinking I was a baby! But, at 1:30am we called her to have her come. The contractions were very painful, coming very often, sometimes one on top of another. The great thing was if I moved around it helped so much. Anytime I tried to lay down the contractions would come on stronger. I couldn’t imagine having been in a hospital bed! My midwife arrived by 2am after riding her bike across the city with her 40 lbs of gear!
The midwife checked me and the baby to make sure everything was fine, then changed her clothes into what I imagine is her ‘let’s do this’ outfit. She made a pot of water with clary sage oil, covered everything with plastic sheets, and got her materials ready. Then, with each contraction she would put the warm compress with oil on my uterus while Scott massaged my back. Sometimes we were in really random places in the house with the three of us all crunched- Scott, me and my 6 foot 3 midwife. I suppose we did this for a few hours, but time flew and I have no recollection of it!
At one point, probably around 3:45 (I guess), we were in my room and I was leaning over the bed head board. I was bearing through the contraction as usual, but then felt a mild urge to push. I was so confused. I was convinced I hadn’t gone through transition because I hadn’t lost control, hadn’t reached a point where I didn’t think I could do it, and also was convinced I still was going to labor for 12 more hours. When I told her I was pushing and she checked me for the first time. She told me that the pushing was opening up the cervix the rest of the way. A contraction would come and I would squat and push. I never thought I’d be a squatter, but nature takes over.
I moved into the living room to lean over our lovely birth pool- this is the only use it got! I would lean over it between contractions, then stand and squat when I was pushing. Pushing was a huge relief to me. I went from having terrible pain that I had to bear, to having pain with a purpose. It was almost like it didn’t hurt anymore once I pushed. Not sure how long I was in this position, but the midwife recommended that Scott sit on the couch, I sit on his lap with my back to him between contractions. During contractions I stood and he supported me and held me up with his arms. In this position I pushed out my pelvis, and I felt her move down a ton! I guess my midwife knew a pretty good trick that would work for my body. After this it felt like she came fast. My water broke and sprayed everywhere! Between one contraction I stood up and felt her right there! It was exciting to be so close! I think the next contraction I pushed out her head. Then, with the next came her whole body! She was out! I couldn’t believe it! It went so fast! We did it! (I had my baby on the living room floor! Seems kind of barbaric and not as romantic as a birth pool or my bed.)
The midwife and Scott immediately helped me to lay on the couch and to hold Ellie. The sad thing is she cried for several minutes while I was holding her, and we didn’t know why. Turns out as we were wrapping her quickly to keep her warm and cuddled, her arm got a little twisted. So sad! But, once we discovered this she was fine. She had so much hair and big cheeks! She was beautiful. She didn’t have to be, but she was- is! I was so tired, so it was lovely to just get to lay there with her and rest.
After not five minutes my uterus contracted again. Good grief! Can a girl get a break? I told my midwife, and she instructed me that the placenta was coming and I’d feel better once I pushed it out. I pushed and it came. What a relief!
The midwife stayed for four hours. She helped Scott clean up, gave me a shower, gave the baby a bath, checked Ellie and gave me some final instructions. Both her and Scott were absolutely amazing and supportive through the whole thing. I absolutely couldn’t have done it without them!
Scott jokes that some of my oxytocin got misplaced from Ellie to the midwife. After such a bonding experience I miss her so much! Last time she came to the house I cried telling her she made our dream of a homebirth come true. It honestly was a dream come true.
Visit Melissa on her blog and tell her how beautiful her little girl is and how much of a warrior she is for having a natural, home birth.
If you are interested in having your story featured here, email me at jessicajanestevenson@gmail.com !
I would love to hear your story, and I’m sure other moms would too!
:: three months ::
Today my baby turned three months old. I celebrated by eating cookie cake from work.
{It is also boss’s day and our school had cake}
I cannot believe how different my life is now. John said the other night how happy he is that we have Jes, because it has been the best thing that has ever happened to him. Wow. I love that man. But he seriously used to be {and still occasionally is} wild. Jes toned that down for him.
Jes has done a lot for us. As I am waking up for the 3rd or 4th time during the night to run down the hallway to his room, I think to myself, “I can’t wait to see him, but dammit… I am tired!” So I just rock him in his nursery and look at his beautiful face, and occasionally doze in the chair for an hour or more. Sometimes I bring him back to bed with me and he sleeps in the crook of my arm. Every morning he giggles at me as I change his diaper. He gives me a smile when I wave bye bye and guiltily get into my truck. I wish I could stay home with him. I love him more than my heart knew it could. He changed me.
But I still have a potty mouth, that shit hasnt changed.
HA!
Here is the man of the hour!
{{ I found a way to put a bow on him!!}}
His Likes & Dislikes
{Jes’s Accomplishments}
He is such a mess. And already so…. BOY. A man. It’s crazy.
I talked in the past about birth stories and how moved I was reading some from other new moms. I wanted to do a series for moms to share their birth stories so other expectant / new moms could read them. I recently received an amazing birth story from a mom from Istanbul. I was so emotional reading about how Melissa welcomed her baby, Ellie Joy, into the world.
Check back tomorrow for her amazing tale.
Now go kiss your babies. And if you dont have any yet… hug your uterus, because one day you will, and they are pretty awesome.
Hospital Bag Checklist
Delivering a baby soon? Get ready for your spine to be twisted… No, seriously.
I knew I was going to be spending a few days in the hospital before I got there. I was there a total of 5 days ( can’t WAIT to see that bill ). Typically, you only stay about 2 days, if that. If youre having a c section, it might be longer. Here is what I think you will need on top of the things you are already bringing in your bag.
- Chapstick. I dont know what kind of desert air they pump through their air conditioning units, but believe me, its gonna dry your lips out, especially when you start doing the whole “hee hee hooooooo” thing.
- Candy. My doctor let me have hard candy. I sucked on butterscotch when I thought I was dying of hunger after 26 hours of not eating. My mom brought gum, and lets face it, 26 hours of labor meant 26 hours of not brushing my teeth. Gross.
- Some good hair equipment. Hair bands, a good headband, and dry hair shampoo. I brought some real shampoo and conditioner, face wash and lotion, and body wash too (It makes it feel more like home when you’ve been away for so long).
- House shoes. My mom got me some pretty awesome fluffy flip flops from target. I also brought 2 pairs of socks, which you will want. They keep it ridiculously cold in the postpartum rooms. And the labor rooms.
- A really big night gown and a robe. I would have been happy with a long cardigan or hoodie though. I walked around a lot in the hospital, and we had quite a few visitors. I put this on when I knew people were coming over because the assless gowns the hospital gives you just doesnt cut it. I saw this night gown at Kohls and wished I would have had something similar, especially for nursing.
- Nursing sports bra. I got a 2 pack from target, but really a nursing tanktop was just as good. Especially if youre comfortable enough to wear sweatpants. It makes a cute outfit!
- Ok girls, lets get real… Your fine china is gonna be a bit tender. And its most likely gonna look like a horror movie in your underwear. If youre not into the huge, bulky, 1970′s thunderpads, bring some Depends. They look a lot like underwear and will get you through the first few days of shuffling around. If thats not your thing, bring some maxipads and boyshorts. This was like heaven to me by the third day; I felt like my old self. Almost.
- Makeup. I know youre like “Aw hell no, I aint gonna want to put on makeup!” Yes. Yes, you will. Youre going to look like Whitney Houston, crackhead. Sorry, but this is the only thing that will make you feel remotely presentable when 6 family members cram themselves in your room to catch a glimpse of that sweet bundle of joy you just squeezed out of your little muffin.
- Bring your own towel and washcloth. Trust.
- Blanket and pillow. This is for the person sleeping on the couch for 4 nights. You can live with the hospital shit. He is just as worn out as you are, but not as sore or tender. Go ahead and pack him some sweatpants and deodorant. He will forget them.
As for the baby… You only need a bringing home outfit. The hospital will give you blankets, diapers, wipes, you name it. And my advice is take everything that isnt nailed down… You’re paying for it. And ask for more. Our nurse stocked us up with formula and we still have some.
If you want to add anything to the list, feel free to comment!!
One Month
{{Dear Jes}}
I cannot believe that you are already 1 month old!! The time has flown by so fast. I have to start back to work on Monday, and I am so sad because we won’t be spending the days together anymore. I am already starting to feel the separation anxiety. We are really lucky, your Papa is going to be taking care of you, so that makes me feel better.
You can already lift your head for so long!! Me and your dad marvel at how long you hold your head up when you are laying on one of our chests. We are starting to get into a good routine, especially at night. After your dad gets home he hangs out with you for a little bit while I cook dinner. I nurse you again around 8 and then we get you ready for bathtime! You havent quite figured out that it is supposed to be fun yet, because you still kind of cry. For the most part you are a great baby! You like it when you dad washes your hair for you :) After your bath I take you to your nursery and rock you while I dry you off. Most of the time you pee or crap on me before I can get you in a diaper, so back in the tub you go! After we get you clean, dry, and in a diaper I get you dressed for bed! You always know what this means because you will undoubtedly begin to grunt and arch your back until your face turns red.
You love to be in my arms and to be rocked. Youre already a mommas boy!! You recognize me and your daddys voices and will turn your head when you hear either of us. You are starting to enjoy looking at things. Your favorite thing to look at is some colored rings you Gran got you and draped on a lamp over your changing table. I take them down during your tummy time so you can pick your head up and look at them.
You sleep right next to our bed at night, because you still wake up every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. There have been a few nights you have gone 5 hours, but it always makes me nervous and I wake you up to feed you. You love to nurse, but you love a bottle too! I think you just really love to eat!! You have gained some weight this month, I know it! Tomorrow we go to your 1 month appointment, so we will see just how big you are.
You smile at me sometimes especially when I’m sticking a boob in your mouth. You give a little smirk after you have a mouth full of milk.
You make these silly little noises when youre asleep, They sound like a little kitten meowing. My mom says that your aunt Alli used to make the exact same noises.
You are generally a really happy baby; you are very easily soothed when youre crying. Were working on letting you “self soothe”, but i hate to hear you cry, so I just go pick you up :)
I feel so beyond blessed that you are in my life. I love you.
Love,
Momma
Remembering An Extraordinary Man
There was never a question in my mind that I was going to have a little boy.
When I was 12 weeks pregnant I had a dream that I was giving birth in the hospital. My whole family was sitting in the hallway waiting for the announcement of our precious baby. John walked out of the double doors of the delivery room holding a sweet little bundle, and placed the baby in my Papa’s arms. He looked right up and smiled and said, “What a beautiful baby boy.” And I woke up. It had been nearly 5 months since my Papa had passed away. I never questioned what I was having after that night, and I woke up knowing who I would name him after. The man who left behind a legacy of life, love, and leadership.
A year ago I was experiencing the first grief in my life. I woke up on Thursday, August 11, 2011 and was getting ready to go to work. At 8:00 that morning I got a heartwrenching phone call from my mother. My Papa, her Dad, had passed away in his sleep. I remember feeling the absolute shock, and disbelief. Through tears and an achy throat I told my mom I was coming, I was on my way. I hung up the phone and immediately became paralyzed by the realization that an era in my life was over. My Papa was gone. No more phone calls on the first day of school, no more obsessive picture taking, no more stories he made up for us, no more Sunday afternoons after church, no more silly words he made up so he wouldnt curse, and no more kisses and hugs so tight. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs trying to drown out the thoughts. I laid on the floor screaming and telling God that I wasnt ready. I still needed him. Those were my only thoughts until John got home from work early that morning and laid on the floor next to me and let me cry. The next few days were horrible. It is so hard to see the ones you love in pain and not being able to do anything to make it better.
A year later I am comforted to know that my Papa is with his Savior. He is looking down on my and my family and visiting us in our dreams. He was a strong, Christian man, who knew Jesus and walks with him now. This is why I named my son after him. Hopefully Jes will grow up to be half the man that my Papa was, because all of those who knew him would say he was an extraordinary man.
So a year later, I am celebrating his life and find comfort in the verse Isaiah 66:9
… I will not cause you pain without allowing something new to be born …
I know this is why God gave me Jes. The love I have for him is outstanding, and I know he has a pretty awesome guardian angel and namesake. I know my Papa is looking down on us now and is so proud that this little man is named after him.
He would always say “I love you with all of my heart”, and it was true.
Calling all Moms!!
I love hearing other moms experiences, and I have a feeling other expectant mommas do too! Whether it is birth stories, feeding philosophies, useful tools {like Gripe Water!}, or just helping to make other moms feel like they arent the only ones feeling a certain way, I love to read about it. Because the truth is, being a mom is hard. It’s a bizarre feeling to have a stranger placed in your arms and suddenly loving them unconditionally. There is a lot to cope with. Crying, feedings, diapers, fingernails, baby acne, as a new mom you can find yourself questioning and second guessing yourself constantly.
I want to do a weekly series that allows other moms to share useful information, advice, or personal experiences. This month I want to do a special on Birth Stories. It is what I was obsessed with in the weeks pending the birth of my little man. I had so many questions. How bad will this hurt? What will it feel like to have an epidural? Are there any lasting side effects? What is going to hurt? Will I love him instantly? Is he going to like me? What will be my husbands reaction? The questions were endless.
So each week I would like to have another mom post her birth story! If you are interested or have any other ideas for what you would like to see in the weekly guest post, email me your ideas!
If you want to have your birth story featured on Little Baby Stevenson here is what you have to do:
- Write a short bio about yourself.
- Write your birth story and check it for grammatical and spelling errors.
- Attach recent picture of your self and any extra pictures you want featured in the post {they can be of your baby, family, or even hospital pictures if you are brave enough!}
- Include any personal business you have, whether ran from home or just an etsy page!
- Email these things to me at jessicajanestevenson@gmail.com
- When the post is published I will want you to post a link to it on your facebook page.
I want to feature any and all birth stories that are submitted to me, so please dont hold back! Other women want to hear YOUR story. I know I do!
{{ My Pregnancy Must Have List }}
I had a rough pregnancy. Call me crazy, but I wasn’t too excited about the weight gain, swollen hands and feet, leaky bladder, the list goes on. But some things made my transition into Mommy-hood a little easier while I was incubating my child. Some things I didn’t start using until the third trimester, some things I used since the first. I thought I would put together a list for any other future momma’s out there looking for things to ease their transition.
My Pregnancy Must Have List
1. I got lucky that my tummy didn’t get too torn up. I have a few small stretch marks on my sides {love handles ugh} and where my belly button ring was left a pretty nasty dark spot. I tried ALL the belly butters and creams. I thought I would love the Burt’s Bee’s Momma Bee Belly Butter… eh. Not so much. It was kind of just like a bad lotion that was really thin. I used the Belly Balm from Palmers. It was a lot more like an ointment and you have to use your fingernail to break through and get some out. I liked this one a lot more because it was more oily and I felt like it covered and stayed on my belly longer. I also put all stretchmark cream on my hips, thighs, and boobs. I dont have stretch marks on any of those places. {But they say this is all genetic, so I’m not sure if it was just luck or good genes}
I would say that my favorite was the Skinny Girl Mommy Conditioning Belly Butter. I got it as a gift at my baby shower along with the Cooling Foot Spray and Body Oil and Lip Balm. It helped soothe all the itchiness and tightness I had especially in the last trimester.
2. I had SO much trouble sleeping by 20 weeks. A good friend who had just had twins gave me her Boppy Pregnancy Pillow. It was seriously a life saver. To get comfortable at night I would pile lots and lots of pillows and make a sort of nest around my body. By the last month I could only sleep for 45 minutes to an hour at a time. If it wasn’t to pee it was because I needed to switch sides. John usually would just roll me over. I mean, you literally don’t have any stomach muscles anymore! It’s crazy!
I would say, if you can’t afford one new, look for one on Amazon or ask another momma if she still has hers! They run anywhere from $50-$100. I would even look at some second hand stores for baby stuff!
3. Tums. I had serious heartburn/ indegestion that literally snuck up on me in the middle of the night one night. I woke John up and told him I was dying. I seriously thought I was. Just incase you die in the middle of the night like I did, have Tums on the standby. And put an extra bottle in your purse just in case.
4. I know a lot of women who had morning/ night/ all fucking day sickness. With me, it was only occasionally. But when I did, I wanted to crawl under the covers and shut the blinds and cry. Something that helped were the Preggie Pops that you can get from Motherhood Maternity, but honestly they’re just candy. I bought a bag of Dum Dums and they were just as good to pop in your mouth when you start feeling nauseous.
5. Vitafusion Gummy Prenatal Vitamins. DUH. When you wake up in the morning feeling hungover from the morning sickness the last thing you want to do is force yourself to swallow horsepills. These helped SO much. Buy them on Amazon though, they are way cheaper, and buy in bulk, because these are a 2 a day pill. So worth it though. You can also pick some up at Babies R Us and sometimes Target.
6. A pregnancy journal. If you cant tell, I love to write. It’s something that was passed down to me from my Papa. He seriously kept journals about everything, and it is such a joy to be able to read little stories about when I was a baby, or when my mom was pregnant with me. I started writing “Letters to Jes” when I was about 13 weeks pregnant in a daily journal. I have kept it up since he was born. I just write maybe 1 or 2 lines, sometimes a whole page. It will be worth it in 20 years when your babies start having babies. I used a Moleskine Daily Journal. Also buy on Amazon :)
7. I’m a tshirt and jeans kind of gal. I can wear jeans to work every day because the kids in our room are a little wild ;) The absolute best tshirt I have found for pregnancy is at Target. The Liz Lange collection is my favorite, but her soft tissue tee is my top pick. The sides are ruched so it leaves room for your growing belly. They run about $15, and I have one in every color. The good thing is, they can totally be worn after pregnancy as well :)
My favorite pair of preggo jeans came from Old Navy. They come in normal sizes, 2,4,6,8… and are so comfortable. I loved the full panel, the demi panel always made me feel like I was squashing the baby. Mine were the flares and they seriously do not look like maternity wear. They are really cute!! And they are on sale online right now for $29! You seriously cant find maternity jeans that cheap anywhere!
8. Get a good book. If you are at all like me and research the hell out of any little thing, reading is your best bet. The whole “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” wasnt really “me”. A really great book for younger mommas – to – be was “The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy”. I have a nook, so I just downloaded it on my nook {another “must have” in my mind, but kind of expensive, so just wait until your birthday and ask for one like I did!} but you can always buy on Amazon! {Notice a trend?? I love Amazon}
The book is seriously hilarious, and I was lucky enough to get “The Girlfriends Guide to The First Year of Motherhood” from a friend, and that one didnt disappoint either!
9. I had a bad habit of waiting too long to eat while I was pregnant. Suddenly I would feel sick or light headed because I hadnt eaten enough or often enough. The best thing I started doing for myself was to keep protein bars in my purse or car. My favorite was the Kashi Go Lean Peanut Butter & Chocolate bars. Theyre really great for a snack, only 200 calories but 5 g of fiber and 10 g of protein. They sell them everywhere, but you can always buy in bulk online!!
10. Get an app on your phone or become a member of Babycenter.com so you can track the growth of your baby week by week. Sometimes this was all to keep me going… I got so sick of being pregnant, but when I read how little, or how much my baby had developed, and what exactly was developing for that week, it was so cool, and definitely worth it!
Any other momma’s out there have any to add?? Did I miss anything important? Discuss!
